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Well as all of you know today was the last day for calendar and shirt orders and I just barely made it. Actually I was probably a few minutes late and wouldn't be surprised if I was the last order received. Now, procrastination definitely played a role in the lateness of my order, but let me assure you there were other factors at play here. For one, I don't typically go to sleep till about 7am-10am and will usually get up around 5 or so. By the time I'm able to actually form words in something that could be considered a human language, most stores, banks etc... have long been closed. All week I have tried unsuccessfully (phew! takes a lot out of you typin that word) all week to get up at some point that could be described as day time. Today I triumphed over the Sandman and his wicked concoction and pulled myself from the depths to see a clock proudly displaying a time of...I don't know I think it was threeish.
After a scare with the cat (sudden jaundice caused by beginning stages of fatty liver syndrome, I know this because some wet food brought her color and energy back to normal but she is still going to the vet tomorrow) and walking the dogs it was time to check in on RTB. LAST DAY FOR CALENDAR AND SHIRT ORDERS!! All of a sudden I remember why I am up at this ludicrous time of day and I snap into action. By snap I mean I asked my girlfriend to go to the bank while I...did nothing. I didn't have my own paypal account yet and buddy who had one was over so she tossed some money into his bank account and we were on our way to buying our cool new RTB swag, or were we? As mentioned previously (like two sentences ago, if you can't remember thats your issue) I did nothing while my girlfriend went to the bank so when she returned and we discovered it takes 6 to 8 days to transfer funds from the bank I was heart broken.
Suddenly there is a light up ahead in the distance... I am face to face with a real life super hero. He stands before me 7 feet tall and as wide as an outhouse. His muscles practically forcing his veins out of his skin, he takes a breath that seems to remove all the air from the area and in a booming baritone that shakes the very earth he proclaims: "You can use a credit card or debit card on paypal for a faster transaction." Such noble heroics are rare in todays cold, unforgiving world. Immediately I was off to the nearest debit card sales outlet, ok I had like 3 smokes first but they were regulars and I lit 'em off one another so it was pretty quick. Panting and shivering from the journey I finally reached the store. "Get some toilet paper too!" my girlfriend yelled from our balcony.
"Ok!" I yelled back, wishing I brought a shopping trolly for the mission home.
It's all happening, I'm here in the store with the card in hand and a few other sundries as well. I'm so happy about my new swag I'm buying that the ordeal of going outside, turning the corner, riding the elevator and walking down the hall again doesn't even bother me. I approach the cashier with the happy smile of a boy who is getting exactly what he wants and then it happens. The cashiers eyes scan me and stop on my hands, with one aged and crooked digit she gleefully points to a small sign scotch taped to the register...and I scream at the top of my lungs:
"WHADDA YA MEAN YOU DON'T TAKE HUNDREDS!!"
I have no time to argue with this horrible old witch I must be victorious in this campaign of RTB swag acquisition. Quickly making my way out of the store I notice the security guard giving me a look that says:"I have no clue as to what is happening so I'll try and look tough" to which I responded with my own look that said: "Please touch me, my lawyer is famous" Back in the unforgiving chill I trudged my way up the block, dodging crack heads and rummies, weaving between the upwardly mobile geriatrics and diving out of the way of the always present scooter people half their age. My last hope, the corner store. I have spent many dollars in this store, risked injury to my hands escorting undesirables from the premises and even established a small amount of credit in. Perhaps they will take pity on a young man with money no one wants?
SUCCESS!! With very little hesitation my man comes through and breaks $200 for me. Back to the pharmacy I charge to get my card etc.. The old witch now has a giant line at the cash, the customers standing shuffling their feet look so ridiculous to me that I have to laugh aloud. I think to myself: "Take your hood off, look around. Theres a makeup counter and a drug counter both with registers and no lines, noobs." I grab my stuff and hit the makeup counter, almost home free...almost.
The stinkin card won't work. WHY? WHY? What a cruel sick joke this life is, I've had it with everything, I quit. I'll NEVER use paypal again in fact I should start looking for homes for my boas cause this whole thing has just turned me right off...oh wait, it must've just needed a few minutes to activate lol.
The moral is kids, procrastination is bad and having to carry $50's and $20's is cruel and unusual punishment.
Mat.
*Some facts have been changed for comedic purposes, reproduction of this intellectual property in whole or in part is strictly forbidden...unless you're a hot chick and I can say we dated.
:
After a scare with the cat (sudden jaundice caused by beginning stages of fatty liver syndrome, I know this because some wet food brought her color and energy back to normal but she is still going to the vet tomorrow) and walking the dogs it was time to check in on RTB. LAST DAY FOR CALENDAR AND SHIRT ORDERS!! All of a sudden I remember why I am up at this ludicrous time of day and I snap into action. By snap I mean I asked my girlfriend to go to the bank while I...did nothing. I didn't have my own paypal account yet and buddy who had one was over so she tossed some money into his bank account and we were on our way to buying our cool new RTB swag, or were we? As mentioned previously (like two sentences ago, if you can't remember thats your issue) I did nothing while my girlfriend went to the bank so when she returned and we discovered it takes 6 to 8 days to transfer funds from the bank I was heart broken.
Suddenly there is a light up ahead in the distance... I am face to face with a real life super hero. He stands before me 7 feet tall and as wide as an outhouse. His muscles practically forcing his veins out of his skin, he takes a breath that seems to remove all the air from the area and in a booming baritone that shakes the very earth he proclaims: "You can use a credit card or debit card on paypal for a faster transaction." Such noble heroics are rare in todays cold, unforgiving world. Immediately I was off to the nearest debit card sales outlet, ok I had like 3 smokes first but they were regulars and I lit 'em off one another so it was pretty quick. Panting and shivering from the journey I finally reached the store. "Get some toilet paper too!" my girlfriend yelled from our balcony.
"Ok!" I yelled back, wishing I brought a shopping trolly for the mission home.
It's all happening, I'm here in the store with the card in hand and a few other sundries as well. I'm so happy about my new swag I'm buying that the ordeal of going outside, turning the corner, riding the elevator and walking down the hall again doesn't even bother me. I approach the cashier with the happy smile of a boy who is getting exactly what he wants and then it happens. The cashiers eyes scan me and stop on my hands, with one aged and crooked digit she gleefully points to a small sign scotch taped to the register...and I scream at the top of my lungs:
"WHADDA YA MEAN YOU DON'T TAKE HUNDREDS!!"
I have no time to argue with this horrible old witch I must be victorious in this campaign of RTB swag acquisition. Quickly making my way out of the store I notice the security guard giving me a look that says:"I have no clue as to what is happening so I'll try and look tough" to which I responded with my own look that said: "Please touch me, my lawyer is famous" Back in the unforgiving chill I trudged my way up the block, dodging crack heads and rummies, weaving between the upwardly mobile geriatrics and diving out of the way of the always present scooter people half their age. My last hope, the corner store. I have spent many dollars in this store, risked injury to my hands escorting undesirables from the premises and even established a small amount of credit in. Perhaps they will take pity on a young man with money no one wants?
SUCCESS!! With very little hesitation my man comes through and breaks $200 for me. Back to the pharmacy I charge to get my card etc.. The old witch now has a giant line at the cash, the customers standing shuffling their feet look so ridiculous to me that I have to laugh aloud. I think to myself: "Take your hood off, look around. Theres a makeup counter and a drug counter both with registers and no lines, noobs." I grab my stuff and hit the makeup counter, almost home free...almost.
The stinkin card won't work. WHY? WHY? What a cruel sick joke this life is, I've had it with everything, I quit. I'll NEVER use paypal again in fact I should start looking for homes for my boas cause this whole thing has just turned me right off...oh wait, it must've just needed a few minutes to activate lol.
The moral is kids, procrastination is bad and having to carry $50's and $20's is cruel and unusual punishment.
Mat.
*Some facts have been changed for comedic purposes, reproduction of this intellectual property in whole or in part is strictly forbidden...unless you're a hot chick and I can say we dated.
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good story though
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